And I'm Thankful For it.

Current location: Singapore.
Feeling: Bored, heavy and bitter. Just compile them together.
Mission: Update my blog before 00.00 am
Here goes.

Hello people! I'm back! Well, not really back. This is not my hometown.
New Year's Eve, 31st December 2005.
2006 is coming and I'm hoping for the best.
Gonna stay up till 00.00 today, if I can make it.
I've been looking forward to 2006.
2005 has been hell for me. Too many things had happened. Trust me, 80% of those are killing me. Btw, New Year falls on Sunday. WTF! I hate Sunday. It breaks my heart, really.

Okie, enough of the introduction. Let's get straight to the point.
This has been Devina's blogging tradition, to list down every people that have made her life significant or unsignificant every year.
So here goes the list for year 2005.

• GESSianIndo - Consists of me, Meriana, Jessy, Collin, Andy, Adhi, Mark, Brian, Vincent, Michael.T, Ryan, Ronald, Yohan and Martin. Not forgetting Leon. Great fellas. I'm so totally in love with them. I felt so natural whenever I was with them. I can bullshit and act stupid in front of them. I bet after this year, there wouldn't be others like us. Indonesians in GESS will not be as united as us. The Indonesians in Sec 1 to 3 are so scattered. So disappointing. Sigh...
• Roslina - I'm so surprised. Really surprised. We barely see each other. Barely talk in school. But somehow, we are able to communicate very well in MSN. I've been sharing stuffs with her. Well, personal stuffs. A good listener. She has been there for me, especially you-know-when Ros. I'm seriously thankful to have her as a friend. I love you Ros [I've been saying this more than a thousand times to you Ros]
• Syaq - Dearest Boo [Yeah, we took it from that song] Precious. He taught me lots of stuffs since the day I knew him. From the first day I knew him, we *click* really well. We talked 'bout stuffs, any stuffs. Talked on the phone for hours, with Matt too. I remember how my Mum scolded me cause of long talking hours with him. And how the phone bill exploded. Making fun for each other. But somehow, we drifted apart this year. I'm terribly sorry. I was too busy with my own personal stuffs. There's nothing I could do, one word, busy. Sorry.
• Jane, Micelle and Sheila - The CHIJ girls. My sayang-s. Hahaha. Got to know them Micelle's N'Level. We studied together for O's, EVERY SINGLE DAY, at Jane's house. Started from noon till late at night. We've gotten really close due to that. There were laughter. Played spiritual game together, which turned out to be our favourite activity until Erwin told us not to play anymore. He claimed it was too dangerous calling spirits.
• Herman - OH MY GOD! This guy has been both my boyfriend and girlfriend. He came into my life in my most helpless moment, cheering me up every single day, without fail. Well, I'm still meeting him next year in Australia. My future schoolmate and housemate. Hopefully classmate too.
• Elijah - I love his name. Elijah Nelson, how cool is that. My prince. Yeah, we've been calling each other prince and princess for our own pleasure. Because of that, we were mistaken as couple.
• Leemel and William - Syaq's band-mate. The Nerves! Lee, the handsome looking dude. He looks like Taufik. William, old skool? Seems like so. Funny guy. He can just crap about anything, anywhere and anytime.
• Nadii - She's my crapping mate in class. My dearest and responsible chairman who swept the floor whenever the classroom got dirty. Haha. Poor you. She sat behind me. So, whenever I felt whacky, all I got to do was just to turn around and start disturbing her. A Harry Potter fan. That's how she got her nickname, Draco. Nadii! You're a Draco. I shall Tam Bai you! Muahahaha!!
• Chong Hao - One word. LORD! This guy had been a good friend, brother and guidance to me for the whole entire year. I just can't thank him enough for the stuffs he had done to help me through conflicts in life.
• Stella - Nobody is as similar as me as this girl. She's like a total twin to me. It feels like she understands every single thing that I went through. The way I felt, she felt it before. Please, don't leave me. I'll be missing a twin then =(
• Leroy - The Ah Beng of 4G 2005, a hardworking one though. Seems to be the kind that doesn't care bout anything but his studies and himself. But trust me, he cares for his friend. There was once when he gave me an advice 'bout this bastard. He sorted out my mind. I was seriously "awww" by him. How cool is he. A sentimental guy in disguise.
• Richard - You were living proof of what love is all about.

Well, there are still others, but I'm too lazy to list them down. I guess that's it. Sorry if I've missed out some people.

One more thing. I'm going to have a new blog soon. Again, another tradition. I did changed my blog last year right? The only difference now is I'm gonna keep this blog, but it will not be updated anymore. Here's the link ----> www.bottomassup.blogspot.com

Done, I'm tired. No closing speech. Good night and Happy New Year people. Adios.

Meow*18~

HOHOHO!! Merry X'mas Everyone!

24th of December. Before I forget, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! God loves you. Hehe...
And I suppose today is my cousin's birthday, and tomorrow is Jia Hong's birthday, plus Nataleo and another cousin. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY =D

I don't celebrate X'mas by the way.
My family doesn't bother, and so do I.
Yeah, I used to care sooo much when I was young. I loved X'mas to the core. Especially after I heard those little stories about how Santa comes down through the chimney, and put those presents besides the X'mas trees.
I mean, I totally loved that fat huge old man with his red cloaks. And ya, not forgetting his white beard, that looks like a whole clump of snow. So adorable.
But right now, I've lost interest in him. Not only him. Basically the whole idea of meeting Mr Santa and to get a whole bag of presents in it.

I had a dream.
It is to live in a city with snow pouring down during christmas time.
And then I would like to sit inside the living room, with my family, having turkey, champagne, un-wrapping the presents. We laugh at our own silly jokes, exchanging presents.
How sweet is that man?
And ya! Not forgetting the snow! I'll bury myself in it. I'll swallow it down my throat.
Love it.
However, the dream is *poof* Gone!
No idea why. Perhaps cause I'm just tired to wait for that particular dream to happen.
Or perhaps 'cause I'm growing up.

Right now, I'm having so much difficulty in typing.
I bit my finger that it bled.
I know, disgusting right? But hey, it's my habit. Can't change it.
My mum once told me, that I should "apply" chilly on each of my every finger, so that I won't bite it cause I know it'll burn my tongue.

Okie, back to X'mas eve.
What a day! I'm stuck at home.
All that I can do today is to watch DVDs after DVDs. In fact, I just watched Elizabethtown.
You know, that show. Ya, that show lor. That one!! Nevermind, I'm lame.
It is extremely sweet! How Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst met up and then chatted on the phone for long hours. Awww... They're perfect man, sooo god damn perfect.
The first section was kinda slow. Too chim for me to understand.
But what the heck, I recommend this show to all of you out there.
One tip. Listen to what Kirsten has got to say. They're beautiful and meaningful. [not that I understand every single thing she says]
I guess I'll be watching Just Like Heaven next.
There're still others, lining up, waiting for their turns. Such as Saw II, Secret Window, Sound of Thuder, etc...
Also my newly bought Sims2 and tycoon-s. My new laptop is so loaded with new games.

And ya, guess what I'll be doing tomorrow on Christmas day, Spring Cleaning!
Going back to another house, to clean it. It is covered with dusts.
Damn I'm so gonna enjoy this. So, adios people. I'm out of here! Dinner time!!

P.S. I know there's no biggy about this blog. But that's the whole point! I'm bored to the ultimate. BOO HOO

Meow*18~

I'm feeling it. The L-O-V-E

Okie, in case you people are wondering what the hell is wrong with my title, here it goes.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
Cut the crap.
I'm at Indo now. I'll be here for 31 days, to be exact.
So, how's life over there Dev?
Ummm, not bad. Kinda boring. Play X-Box every single day. Daily life routine: wake up, breakfast, bathe, play x-b0x, lunch, watch new DVD-s, sleep, wake up again, bathe, dinner, watch tv or play computer, and back to sleep again!
I'm missing a few people now. Herman, Jane, Sheila, Ros, Nadiah, Syaq and Eli.
Yeah, what a life. Bleagh.

However, there was this particular day, so memorable. I had fun man. Awesome =D
Went to Dufan [Indonesian Theme Park] with my bro, Adhi, Andy, Michael.T, Mer, Jes, and Vince. As usual, Adhi picked me up. My car was not available. We were the first 4 noble people to reach there [Bro, me, Mer, Adhi] Some heartless people like Vince, Jes, and Andy arrived like, 2 hrs after us. Mike was slightly earlier than them, but still, you're sooo late boy! Of course, we weren't stupid, we played first. Halilintar was like woah! High-speed machine, and we got turned by 180 degrees with super high-speed. Screamed my lungs out I tell ya. Scary....
The rest of the rides were fine, thrilling and exciting. We were so god damn noisy. Ribut sendiri =P People were like, huh? why are they shouting like some mad ass?
The last ride, Arum Jeram [is it?] was superrrr wow! I don't even know how to explain. That was the first ride where 8 people can sit together as a group. Usually we were divided 4 by 4. Two times! And I always get soaked. Vince was the ultimate one. The water was like, byurr, swallowed him up. Lucky enough, our cell-phones were perfectly fine despite having a bath.
High quality cell-phones. So hurry! Stocks limited!!
I wonder how much they'll pay me for advertising Nokia.
So, obviously all of us were darn wet, underwear, shirt, pants, shoes or slippers. It was so hard for me to even sit down on a chair. Feels so fucking uncomfortable. Urgh..
Off we go then, at 6 P.M, to Bakmi GM.
Definition of Bakmi GM: The BEST bakmi I've ever tasted. Even better than the one my mum
made [hey, c'mon, I'm just being honest. Karma won't get me for being honest]
2 servings! Uber hungry. Actually, after 2 servings, I was still hungry.
I was so tired the day after that, slept the whole day throughout.
Then yesterday, went to play go-kart. Not the usual go-kart that you can find in Singapore.
Adhi was there, not forgetting Vince, Jes, Brian, Collin and Hawker.
Got 3 blue-blacks due to the hard knock-out. There goes my leg.
And my hands are aching now. 2nd game and my hands couldn't take it anymore. Useless bitches.
Nevertheless, I had fun. Thanks guys, for inviting me. Love you guys.

L-O-V-E

Adhi, Vince, Mike and Brian are leaving soon. A few more days. After this I don't know when will I ever see you guys again. 1 year? 2 years? Whatever it is, when you guys are back in Singapore or Indonesia, just call me alright? =)

Dewa - Satu

Aku ini, adalah dirimu
Cinta ini, adalah cintamu

Aku ini, adalah dirimu
Jiwa ini, adalah jiwamu
Rindu ini adalah rindumu
Darah ini adalah darahmu

Tak ada yang lain, selain dirimu
Yang selalu kupuja
Kusebut namamu, di setiap hembusan napasku
Kusebut namamu
Kusebut namamu

Dengan tanganmu aku menyentuh
Dengan kakimu aku berjalan

Dengan matamu ku memandang
Dengan telingamu ku mendengar
Dengan lidahmu aku bicara
Dengan hatimu aku merasa

Tak ada yang lain, selain dirimu
Yang selalu kupuja
Kusebut namamu, di setiap hembusan napasku
Kusebut namamu
Kusebut namamu

FUCK IT! I'M CRAZEEE BOUT THIS SONG! Download okie? Must! Can't find it? Call me. I'm so ready to share good stuffs with people. How nice.

Meow*18~

Don't Let It Go

O's is finally over.
Frankly speaking, I don't think there's such a big deal about it.
Yeah, no doubt I'm happy. No more books till next year. No more Secondary School life. No more uniforms. No more school rules. Basically I'm a free man! From school only of course.
Life in Melbourne will be a complete different change next year. College. No uniform. No school rules. New environment.
Still, completing my mission through hell of O' Level doesn't excite me very much. I have no idea why. Something's missing. But I don't know what.
Enough said of O's. What's done is done. Let's hope for the best.

Hm..Let's see. What have I been doing after O's.
Shopped shopped shopped and watched HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE!! Of course, more shopping is coming =P I brought pants after pants. A handbag, a dress and a high heel shoes. Completely gorgeous I tell ya'
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire is brilliant!!
I love Krum! Charming! I wanna marry him!! Wee =D Cho is sweet. Hermoine is beautiful. Fred and George are super adorable. Ron is getting uglier but still, he has a nice red hair. Neville is tall! OMG!! I can't believe it. He is skinny and tall. Taller than Harry by a head. Malfoy is still as handsome as ever, but he didn't appear much in the show. Poor Nadii. No more pure-blood for you. Haha XD I wanna watch it again!

Went to Mer's house on 23rd, for a bbq party. Apparently there wasn't bbq at all.
Many came. All GESSianIndo, 2 IndoQuest, 2 CHIJ girls [my sayang] and some other people. Old friends, just to keep it short. I had so much fun that I wished it wouldn't end. All of us brought gifts, cause there was supposed to be an exchange gifts programme. Herman and Collin got the most "beautiful" gift of all! G-strings!! Haha XD Eh, kalo udah dipake foto trus kirimin ke gue ya! Gue kan mau liat temen temen gue yg seksi banget! I bought a watch. Adhi has it now. Eh gay boy, harus disimpan tuh. Oleh oleh dari temen terbaik mu =P As for me, I got a cup, Erica's. Thanks ya Erica. Kita emank belom kenal lama. Tapi thanks for the cup ya =) Gue bawa ke Melbourne deh. Played Police and Thief too. Great fun I tell ya' =D
Love all of my GESSianIndo. They're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I treasure them lots. We'll be seperated soon. Keep in touch ya? I will really really miss you guys. I love you guys so much! Life will be no fun without you guys =( This friendship will not be replaced. Once again, I LOVE YOU GUYS LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS!

Prom night was yesterday. It was alright. Kinda boring, but I love to see how friends got together, hugged each other. You know, the brotherly love. So heart-warming =)
Everybody dressed their best. Okie, I confess, I didn't really bother to dress up, cause I don't think it's worth the money. Mer and Jessy were absolutely beautiful with their dresses. Joveenath looked so cool with his new coloured hair. It really suits him. Jovee! See lar, I've got a crush on you already. Haha =D kidding. But you really looked so darn sexy yesterday night.
Syaq and Eli looked charming too, just like international models! Haha XD Not forgetting Sulaiman, suave in his own way.
Thanks for the compliment Eli. You're my forever Prince =)
Some people know that I'm leaving to Australia soon. Not gonna come back to Singapore for at least a year. Hugged and got hugged. I love my friends. Though I hate GESS, one thing that really made me feel so attached to this school is my friends. They're a bunch of wonderful people. Azar! Don't forget to send me that photo alright.

As for today, went to Escape Theme Park [or whatever you call it] with Vince, Jes, Herman, Andy, Jef and Adhi. Few people are missing. They're a bunch of hum ji baka lar!! Haha XD They're so gonna kill me.
I never had so much fun this year. I must admit, today had been the most fun day I've ever had this year. I screamed like one mad-ass. I ran like a small kid. Basically, I was 10 years-old today. It felt soooo good. And stupid =))
Wet & Wild was fun. Everyone was super duper wet. Andy and me were so cold that we couldn't stop shivering. Our shirts were smelly. Shoes and slippers were soaked with water. Nevertheless, I love it!

For Vince: Mudah mudahan loe enjoy hari ini. Hari terakhir loe, I know it's hard for you. Yang penting, nanti di Indo jangan lupa cari gue ya. Nanti kita keluar bareng lagi ama anak anak yang lain =) Love ya lots bro. Take care alright! I'll miss you!

For Jane: Leaving tommorow right? Keep in touch ya sayang. Gue bakal kangen banget ama loe, and also our studying sessions before O's. Jangan lupa ama yayank loe yang di Melbourne ya =))

For Chong Hao: Lao Da! Why the hell you leave so fast? Worst, not even coming back on January! I have lots and lots and lots of things to tell you. But I don't know how. So, I guess I can only say "thanks!!" for everything that you had done for me this year. You have been a great friend, help and guidance. Wishing you all the best =)

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Meow*18~

Echo

Waking up from my beauty sleep is such a drag.
Don't get me wrong. It's not about getting my ass up the bed early in the morning.
I'm totally cool with me. In fact, I'm not like the others who can sleep their lives away until 2 P.M in the afternoon.
It's all about the unbearable feeling that I get whenever I wake up.
It feels like as if my heart is ripped off.
It tastes like a stream of blood.
I grab my chest, hoping it would go away.
Eventually, it does. But still, I don't enjoy it!
Just like what everybody says, you just wanna sleep and never to wake up again.
No I'm not talking about death here.
When I'm sleeping, there's no worries. I'm living in my own world. The universe that I've created myself, be it good or bad.
However, once I open my eyes wide, reality just starts to flow into me.
To tell you the truth, the reality right now sucks totally. Bad stuffs happened to me this year. Too much. And to think this temple said that 2005 is a good year for da dragons. Yeah right...
Like thousands of virus, attacking you, gorging on you.
I wanna get past the days, as fast as possible, just like a speed of light. Especially when I'm moving to Australia for further studies next year. I'm just uber excited.
But I know, in order to get past the days, I gotta go through the standard procedure.
Yeap, you guessed it. I have to "wake up" everyday! Get what I mean? I have to feel that fucking terribe feeling every single day.
Most have problem in sleeping, but not me. I have a BIG problem in waking up.
It has been like this for the whole year, except for this period of time, when everything seemed perfect. But it's a secret. So, slit my throat if you wanna know =P

Anyway, just wanna add on to what Roslina posted in her blog.
Yeap. Those 3 beautiful words : "I-Love-You" has no meaning anymore. I just don't get it. Some idiots can actually "love" 3 girls or guys in a month. I know some of them. Don't ask cause I'm not gonna tell who. People! *knock knock* Hello?? There's a difference between to love and to like. Get it right. I can't define love, but I can define "like" and crush". They're both the same, the period of flirting, when you can get bored easily with the opposite partner. But it doesn't matter anymore. Right now, everybody can use it anywhere, anytime and anyhow. It's like, hey, c'mon, where's the love? Cause it doesn't exist in that phrase anymore. Right Ros? *winks* Whatever it is, I love you Ros =) My punching bag. [Hey, Love has no significant meaning anymore right?]
Anyway, conclusion made, there's no love in this world. It doesn't exist right now. So, come up with something more creative to express that so called "love" feeling. Anyone?

Lucky her

I was watching Daredevil out of boredom. And I just noticed something. Ben Affleck is so HOT in this particular show. See that girl? Jennifer Garner. Damn she's so lucky to kiss him. He's awesome I tell ya. His grey eyes [cause he's blind] and his smile! Oh my god my heart is pumping blood faster than ever. I'd like him if not for the fact he was once with the ever disgusting J Lo. Wasted! But still, he's hot! =))

Let's Do It All Over Again

Some people are like that.
They split up and then they think:
Hey, maybe we haven't hurt each other to the uttermost.
Let's meet up and have a drink.

Let's go over it all again.
Let's rake over tha dirt.
Let me pick that scab of yours.
Does it hurt?

Let's go over what went wrong.
How and why and when.
Let's go over what went wrong.
Again and again.

We hurt each other badly once.
We said a lot of nasty stuff.
But lately I've been thinking how
I didn't hurt you enough.

Maybe there's more where that came from,
something more malign.
Let me damage you again.
For the sake of auld lang syne.

Yes let me see you bleed again.
For the sake of auld lang syne

Meow*18~

Happy People

Woah.. I'm so so so freaking bored. I hate Sundays! So gloomy, and lonely and pointless. I'm stuck at home right now, with burning throats and feverish head. Went to the doctor this morning. I was uber blur that I took the wrong train on my way back home. And it took me quite some times to realise it. God, what the hell is wrong with me?!
Anyway, went to watch Corpse Bride, with Sheila, Michelle and Herman. Kinda interesting, though I agree it is not as nice as Nightmare Before Christmas. But still, it's an enjoyable one. Oh well, it's worth the 9 bucks. What's more, met Viktor and Budi and Richard. He was afraid to look at me. Remorseful? Or he just didn't notice me? Oh well, whatever it was, it's over, once and for all. Though sometimes I miss those times with him by my side. But still, even though we're able to start anew, it will never be the same, cause the trust is not there anymore.
Headed to Jane's house after that, went to do some revision. A maths and Chemistry. Suicide I tell ya. I was scratching my head throughout, wondering "how the fuck am I suppose to solve this question??"
Moving on!! Don't know what the hell to post, so let's do something kinda random, like : 30 random things 'bout me. Here goes.

1. I'm Indonesian [I suppose you people know bout this already]
2. But still, I'm a Chinese.
3. 17 this year. [I feel so much older already]
4. Under certain circumstances, I'm 4.25 years old.
5. Wanna know why? Cause I'm born on 29th February 1988 [yeah yeah, 4 yrs once, whatever]
6. Sometimes, I think it is sooo unfair that I have to buy presents for my friends every single year, while I get it only 4 years once. Where's the love??
7. My favourite colour is gray.
8. I don't hate pink. It's just that they're too girly for a person like me.
9. I ain't lian!! There has been a grave misunderstanding.
10. I ain't a spoilt brat like any other Indonesian girls, mind you.
11. I'm not a flirt. I just feel more comfortable with my guy friends. But that doesn't mean I don't have any girl friends. I have dozens of them.
12. I have the hot for Malay guys XD [don't ask me why, they're just gorgeous]
13. Boy, do I hate liars and two timers. Alot!! I hope they'll suffer for the rest of their lifes.
14. I love every single type of music, be it classical, jazz, hip hop, rap etc.
15. I hate vegetables! In fact, I don't consume them. They're disgusting.
16. I love sushi! Hell lots!
17. The first feature of a guy that catches my eyes is his smile. And oh, his eyes =))
18. I don't go to places such as pub or disco. They're for sore losers [I think]
19. I'm pessimistic and hot tempered. [Mer, you know this, in fact, you made me realised this characteristic of mine]
20. I tend to believe people way tooooo easily [So, please keep me away from those villains]
21. I'm materialistic. $$ is the most important thing on Earth. Love is nothing compared to money. If you asked me to choose one, the probability of me choosing the cash will be 9/10.
22. I'm not that much of a nice person. So, please stop telling people I'm super duper uber nice. Cause it's a false statement!!
23. I hate porn websites. I don't understand why some people enjoy it. Some even said, it's an addiction. What's the point of watching it? Do it! =P But no underage case please.
24. I don't mind dying early.
25. Cause from my opinion, to be born in this world means going through the punishment you deserve from your previous life. Does it make any sense?
26. I love to see multi-racial couple. Such as, Malay guy dating Chinese girl. It's beautiful isn't it?
27. I love Reno!! [In case you guys don't know who is Reno, he's one of the character of Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children]
28. I will never ever insult others' physical appearance, except if they insult mine. Then, too bad. Don't blame me if I'm too harsh.
29. I hate people who always regard themselves as the most pitiful soul in this world. Shut up already. Bad stuffs happen alright. Get over it. There are thousands of others who have much bigger problems than yours.
30. Lastly, my surname is Pronolo! Not pornolo!

Meow*18~

Drowning

Censure me.
Awaken me.
Revive me.
Somebody, help for out from this solitude.
I'm drowning, deep into the bottomless pit.
It is recurring, over and over again.

It's a shambles.
Wreckage, destruction.
I need to reclaim myself, my sanity.
But it seems impossible.

Flashes, can't seem to get you out of my head.
I need to get my brain washed.
I'm deploring, but what's the point.
I'm suffocating, over the past.
I'm in an execrable condition, reaching out my hand, hoping that someone grab me.

It's my ego. I'm sorry to say that.
I've done things which are not meant to be.
I manipulated them, envisaged them, and created them.
But maybe, maybe not.
Perhaps it's all meant to be.
Perhaps, it's all written at the back of the palm of dear God.
I don't know.
I seriously don't know.

Meow*18~